1. Having his back.
The most important aspect of a good wingman relationship is that you are on the same team. This sounds extremely obvious but is an attitude that the vast majority of men don’t have. They compete with each other, pull each other down, hang shit on each other, and this extends to seduction opportunities.
A simple example; James and me were talking to two Russian sisters.
Her: This shirt makes you look boring
James: [Smiles, doesn’t say anything]
Her: [Turns to me] Don’t you think his shirt is ugly!
Me: [Smiles] I think it suits him… I think you secretly like it coz it makes him look a sexy businessman. Is that your fantasy?
Her: Ohhh… Mr Executive [She blushes and playful slaps him] I might have to work late tonight… sir.
It’s simple, but I’m siding with him, and turning her playing jab into something they can flirt about.
I shouldn’t have to say this, but a lot of guys can’t handle the social pressure when meeting knew people, and the only way they know how to deal with the tension is to pull other people down.
2. Helping At Key Moments
Developing a good wingman relationship means knowing how to make things easy for each other. Any point where a simple helpful gesture can move the whole seduction forward costs your nothing but helps a lot.
Examples of this include:
-talking to a girls male friends to distract him
-helping him to find a taxi when he’s taking her home
-lending him money to buy after party drinks
-letting him use your phone for google maps
-lending him condoms
-giving him the house keys
-putting on music
3. Releasing the social pressure and making the girl feel safe.
This is probably the most advanced aspect of being a good wingman. Any moment where you are interacting with the girl your wing is seducing, your goal should be making her feel, relaxed, safe, and included.
At the bar this means positioning your body so she can be part of the conversation, keeping a warm friendly energy towards her, releasing social pressure by smiling. Don’t try to be funny or put her down. For most girls this will put unnecessary awkwardness into the situation for no reason.
This is even more important when he brings her home. When they walk in, smile, introduce yourself, and remember that she is entering a strangers house. How you act in this situation can determine how relaxed she feels about staying. This is NOT the time for in jokes or trying to be funny. Be polite, friendly, and make yourself scarce once she’s settled in.
Knowledge is power. Study the masters to become a master. This weeks book recommendation is Zero to One by Peter Thiel. It resonated with me because it’s about the power of innovation, and building a circle of competent wing-men is a quantum leap for you seduction power.
“But when you do something new, you go from 0 to 1. The next Bill Gates will not build an operating system. The next Larry Page or Sergey Brin won’t make a search engine. Tomorrow’s champions will not win by competing ruthlessly in today’s marketplace. They will escape competition altogether, because their businesses will be unique.”